


A Great & A Forgotten

by GlazedDounuts



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Mild Language, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 03:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14824716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlazedDounuts/pseuds/GlazedDounuts
Summary: A breakup that did not break one person's heart, but two.





	A Great & A Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a one-shot, I wrote this last night at around 5AM, since I couldn't sleep. 
> 
> I would really appreciate feedback, it would truly make my day. 
> 
> I hope I made you feel some type of way, because that's the reason I love to write & read. ♡
> 
> ☺ ☺ ☺

###  A Great & A Forgotten. 

“I love you!” He shouted. 

“No you don’t! Stop. You don’t love me!” Jongin glared at his boyfriend, eyes watering.

“Why do you always keep on saying that?” Sehun gritted through his teeth.

“Because you don’t know me-“  
“Yes I do, yes I do.” Sehun cut him off furiously. 

“Sehun, no you don’t!” 

“Don’t say that, don’t you dare say that,” Sehun’s voice shakes. “I know you, Jongin.” 

“Sehun, I don’t even know me. I have no clue who I am because I am lost!”  
“We all go through that!” 

“Yeah and I think it would be better for me if I went through it…” Jongin couldn’t hold his head up anymore, not daring to meet Sehun’s gaze. “Alone.”

“So what are you saying? that you…” Sehun isn’t yelling anymore, his arms drop by his sides. 

“I think we should break up.” 

“No. You can’t take the easy way out every time something goes wrong, Jongin. It’s not fair that I am the only one trying to work things out.” Sehun’s eyes were piercing with rage and hurt, a reflection of Jongin’s. 

“I’m just…I’m just tired of disappointing you.” Jongin murmured wearily. 

“What?” 

Jongin can’t keep hiding this anymore, it’s driving him crazy. Snapping his head up, orbs focusing on his boyfriend’s. “I think you and I are headed in different directions.”

“No we aren’t. Why are you saying this?” Sehun’s voice is filled with plead. 

“Our relationship has become so complicated that it is now a distraction to you.” Jongin hissed in distress his hands clenched tightly. 

“It’s not a distraction. You aren’t a distraction to me Jongin. I love you.” He grabbed Jongin’s shoulders only to be shoved away by a shriek of lunacy and wild eyes. 

“What are you trying to prove? that you’re a good guy by pitying the suicidal psycho?” 

The room stills with tension and shock, both males facing each other with hurt hearts and knotted emotions. Sehun blinked away his tears so his vision of Jongin’s face blotched and swollen from crying, is clear. How could Sehun have missed all the signs, he was so oblivious to it all. 

“Jongin..I-I didn’t,” Sehun watery eyes meet Jongin’s bloodshot ones as he whispers. “…know.” 

Jongin doesn’t look away instead he continues with a soft voice that makes Sehun wish they were yelling again so the hurt in his heart can lessen. 

“I’m not in a good head space right now, I haven’t been okay for a while now.” Jongin musters up the saddest smile that broke Sehun’s heart more than mend it. “I just, I don’t want to ruin you. You have so much going for you, and I’m holding you back.”

“What? Where is this coming from?” Sehun furrows his brows in rage at the accusation. “Jongin you don’t actually think that, do you?” 

Jongin squeezes his eyes shut as the tears drop down to his pressed lips. “I’m just so fucking tired Sehun. I feel constant anxiety, I feel exhaustion — I feel everything.” 

Sehun reaches out to hold Jongin’s hand but the latter shrugs him off like his touch burned. Sehun’s stomach tightened by the reaction, unable to hide his shock. “You aren’t going to scare me away with this, I don’t care how long it will take, I will take care of you until you are better. Better than before even!” 

“I don’t need you to take care of me, I can take care of myself.” Jongin whimpers with a weak glare. 

“Everybody needs someone to take care of them.” Sehun retaliates, he isn’t going to let Jongin slip through his fingers so seamlessly. Not without a fight. 

“That’s not fair to you Sehunnie, it’s not fair.” Jongin chokes a sob. “I don’t know what I want, I only have a high school diploma. I don’t have a future. But you, you have it all planned. You got your future lined up, your path clear and exciting possibilities to accomplish. You’re going to be great, and I’m going to be forgotten since I’m never going to catch up, so you’ll get tired of me and you won’t give me the time of day because you’ll have bigger things to pursue…” 

“I want to see my future with you! It’s okay to not have everything figured out yet, it’s normal!” 

“I want you to be happy and that isn’t going to happen while you’re with me.” Jongin explains with sorrow and gritted teeth.

Sehun refused to look away, even as his lips trembled and his shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to backdown. “I’ve never felt like this around anyone before. And it feels amazing and scary. You make me really happy.” 

“Sehun please.. you’re making it more difficult than necessary.” Tears made wet tracks down Jongin’s face. 

“I love you. I’m totally and completely in love with you.” Sehun states firmly, wanting it to seep into Jongin’s pores and fill his fragile heart. 

“No you don’t. You don’t love me, you’re just saying that.” Jongin tries to justify these words of affection. “You’re confused. You’re just confused Sehun.” 

“I knew it the moment you stayed up with me all night to finish my presentation at 5am, even though you had no reason to.” Sehun retorted without missing a beat. 

“Don’t. It’s just..words.” Jongin swallowed the lump in his throat, too afraid to believe. 

“I watched you watch the sun peaking out behind the buildings glowing with radiance just like your smile when you leaned against me to watch the crimson sky blend in with the vivid light. My fatigue of the restless hours seeped out of me, welcoming the rays that entered — you relaxed my body. All it took was one little touch from you, one soft smile.” 

“All I ever think about is different scenarios of myself dying!” Jongin snaps, anxiety boils out of him as his dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears; his hands clenches into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against grief. 

Pain flowed through Sehun’s bones like the ache of frigid autumn wind, he clasped onto the back of a chair for support as his whole body shoook trying to hold in his stifle sobs. 

“I’m a storm that devastates and I don’t want to be the cause of your downfall or your growth.” Jongin explains softly, bloodshot eyes trailing over Sehun’s body in anguish. “I need to fix myself before I ruin you or me — or both of us. I need to heal, Sehunnie. I don’t want to become someone’s problem.” 

Sehun walks towards the couch grabbing his laptop with wild eyes as he shows Jongin the device. “I can help you heal, I can! I might not know much about mental illness but I can research about it and get everything sorted. It doesn’t have to be like this.” 

“I’m sorry..” Jongin whispers, trembling hands clasped tightly in front of him mustering up a genuine smile that wobbles. 

Everything turns into a blur to Sehun. He hears his own sounds, like a distressed child, raw from the inside. It took something out of him that he didn’t know he had left to give. That’s the way it is when people are hard. It’s like a theft of the spirit, an injury no other person can see. No other person, other than Kim Jongin himself. 

“Sometimes people come into your life and you are never the same. Whether they stay or not. Love is not about staying. Sometimes it’s about walking away.” Jongin begins, trying to not get choked up any further. 

“Jongin don’t.” Sehun croaks, eyes pleading his lover to rethink. “We can work this out together. You don’t have to be alone through this.” 

“Sometimes it is knowing the absolute best for a person, and knowing where they need to grow. This world is gigantic and breathless, and far too often we box ourselves in, suffocate ourselves by not wandering and not seeing all the truth and beauty in different dimensions, different plains, countries, people.” 

“Jongin don’t you fucking dare do this. Don’t you fucking dare!” Sehun's shout held nothing but anger and pain, scared to lose someone so effortlessly like this, having no control other the matter. 

“I think once you find yourself, and you must, you then are ready for unforgettable, mind-blowing love.” 

The silence that followed after was the loudest silence they could have sat in. Their unsaid thoughts were so unlimited and chaotic that it filled the silence, as both men sat on opposite sides of the living room spectrum trying to function after the inevitable has occurred.

**Author's Note:**

> ☯ Do you guys want to read about Sehun and Jongin's first encounter? 
> 
> ☯ Do you guys want to read about Sehun and Jongin's meeting again in 5 years? 
> 
>  
> 
> Or Both? 
> 
> Answer below, and thanks for reading. I hope I made you feel something. ♡


End file.
